Students of a Certain Age

            When I first began studying at the Ribaat Academic Institute, back before there even really was a Ribaat, I sat down and cried. Not because I was so overwhelmed with gratitude for the opportunity to study seriously in my own home. Not because I was so spiritually moved by the Companions in the pilot class that I just couldn’t contain my tears. And not because I enjoyed the exercise of heart and mind that was the final exam. No. I cried because all the other students were in their twenties…maybe thirties…and I was the only one beginning my studies at 50 years old.

            Imagine, I thought, how much more time these younger women will have to learn than I will. Imagine how much better of a parent I could have been if I had had this solid foundation of Islamic understanding. Imagine if I had had this sisterhood to rely on when I was first Muslim!

            Then I remembered something Sh. Hamza Yusuf said about Muslim women. “Muslim women,” he marveled, “age beautifully. Their faces shine with noor.” When I heard this, in my own thirties, I thought about the older Muslim women I knew and realized that some of them indeed had an ageless aura. “This,” he continued, “is because after having raised their children, many Muslim women turn in their empty nest years to their deen. They finally have time to take classes, attend halaqas, and memorize Quran. And the light of their learning shines in their faces.”

            Of course, this brought me up short, and I left the pity party post haste. And that allowed me to realize a few things.

Firstly, Allah brings us to things when it is time. There is a famous saying variously attributed to Lao Tsu, the Buddha, and others that, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” What an Islamic concept! This is our entire philosophy of life – one aspect of tawakkul wrapped up in a neat bow. If we come to learning as older women, it may be because we weren’t ready for it earlier, or because we wouldn’t have been able to sustain it earlier. Allahu alim. But there’s no such thing as coming too late to learning.

            Secondly, I realized is that even women who were born Muslim, who maybe speak Arabic as a first language, are subject to the seasons of life. Many of them, due to one circumstance or another, aren’t able to begin studying until their children are out of diapers or even out of school. And the ones who begin Islamic studies while they are at university or raising their children may get different things out of their courses than a more mature woman might. Both understandings are true and valuable, but a woman with a good bit of life behind her is able to absorb lessons and teach them to others with years’ worth of examples and stories that bring the learning to life. She is able to teach with both an authoritative presence that helps her guide others through the rough waters of self-reflection and a knowing tranquility that is the cozy spiritual equivalent of being “squishy,” as my granddaughter raves about my middle-age pudge.

            Lastly, I realized that being a mature student allows for a special sisterhood with my fellow “women of a certain age.” We are naturally looked to for all kinds of leadership.  We help shepherd the younger women into being grown-ups – which we define as finishing menopause! We help them take up the mantle of female leadership and celebrate their arrival at a place of wisdom and self-acceptance that will help them lead the ladies who come up next. What more honorable position could there be?

            So, if you’ve joined this path as a woman who remembers life without smart phones, computers, or even (gasp!) fax machines (but who can’t remember where she laid her glasses), take a bow. You’re one special lady joining one special group!

Anse Najiyah Maxfield

Anse Najiyah Maxfield is the author of many articles, poems and short stories. Her young adult novel, Sophia’s Journal, is an award-winning time-travel adventure. Anse Najiyah has taught English and history in the US and the Middle East.

Najiyah is head of publishing at Daybreak Press, Rabata’s non-profit publishing company. She holds a Ribaat Teaching Certificate and a Dare to Lead Certificate. Najiyah teaches two courses with Ribaat: Creative Writing and Public Speaking, in addition to leading Project Lina workshops for convert Muslim women and seminars on the writing craft.